“Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.” a young Patrick (Heath Ledger, RIP you talented man) says to Cam (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) in 10 Things I Hate About You. Not only was this movie a classic, one for the books with it’s witty cast, truth about relationships in high school, and an emotional tear jerker ending with the famous poem; it also holds a powerful meaning. No matter the elements against you, no matter what people say, no matter the differences (sometimes he is going to be a ‘bad boy’ and you are the possible ‘goody-good girl’), you always fight for what or who you want.
This is going to be a more of a serious lesson or discussion you could say… so sorry about the real life smack in this face talk but we are going to get personal. I think every person in their life will run into a moment where you think someone in this world is controlling your life and for some reason doesn't want you to be happy. Where everything you want doesn't work out, or a literal storm comes and anything that could go wrong, does. It happens, and honestly its okay to feel like this. No one is perfect, no ones life is perfect all day everyday. As beautiful as this world can be, and ill say that every post, shit does happen. We drop our phones in this toilet, we don't get that promotion you've been killing yourself for, we have to let go of loved ones, we have broken hearts… but we are then defined on how we overcome these shit obstacles and move on to better ourselves. We are not made of glass, we don't break after an accident, we may rip and bruise, but we heal and we overcome to eventually be happy. We are always given the opportunity to make our lives better for what we deserve.
Now for the personal… in my high school years I dated a boy for most of my 4 years. The guy everyone loved; athletic (hockey boy), smart, good-looking, yet quiet and mysterious. I was infatuated with the thought of dating this guy. Like every tween/teenage relationship it always starts off cute. Everything is new and fun, seems so real and I too am at fault for falling for the puppy dog love. I didn't understand what love was (who does at that age), but I felt good saying I had a boyfriend and I was in “LOVE” and we were going to get married and… I would never be truly happy. I lost my virginity to him, and after that we could not go a day of seeing each other without him wanting it. Even when I didn’t. He made me feel like if I did not please him, I wasn't doing my ‘duty’ as a girlfriend or that I didn't love him. He also kept me on a short leash. I wasn't allowed to talk to other guys, (I had many guy friends, before this happened at least) I wasn't allowed to like guys pictures on social media without being questioned, he didn't even want me to post selfies because “who else was I posting them for” (for my GOD DAM self because I felt f***ing beautiful that day and I wanted to bless my friends timelines!). Now don't get me wrong, (because I hate bashing EX’s) he was not a bad guy, he did take me out on dates, he did text me “good morning” and “good night”, he did listen and give advice…but sometimes it wasn't enough. Before prom, I broke up with him, thinking it was a good idea at the time.
A year after that, I felt lonely and began dating but found nothing more. I literally felt like Bianca Piper (the wild Mae Whitman) in the movie DUFF, where she spends all weekend in her room alone, eating pizza and watching movies after her heart was crushed by Wesley (Robbie Amell though… Google Image him, you wont be disappointed). My EX then came out of nowhere and messaged me. I fell right back in for another year. He was better however, a year away at university did him better, learned more about talking to me and appreciating me, but still… I felt like I was forcing myself to be with him so I wasn't “alone”. This may all seem easy for me to type but in reality, I was a self conscious wreck at the time and was in a sad cycle. Thinking the only men that wanted me, were ones that only wanted my body (this is also not a sexist remark as I very much believe gender roles could be reversed in a situation like this too). If these feelings were my EX’s fault, may be, but none the less it was a hard time. After officially breaking up (for good), he told me I couldn't find anyone better and that I deserve ONLY him. At the time, I truly felt that way. It wasn't until I went away on a trip with my family I realized… F*** this! Why am I feeling sorry for myself, I am better than this, look at this beautiful freaking beach and sunset, look at all the delicious free Piña colada. Life is too good to be feeling sad. I conquered losing friends and family, my parents getting a divorce, being peer pressured, being put down, losing dance competitions, and high school in general. I am able to conquer love because of its beauty that I want. I DESERVE good love, because I love who I am.
Then sure enough, with my new confidence, and my deep appreciation for social media; while I wasn't even looking for it cupid bit me in the ass and I met the LOVE of my life! Austin is the love I deserve; true, kind, equal and fun.
I don't mean to only give the example of relationships as something as you all deserve. You also fight for that career or job you want, you deserve that house you've been saving for and eating ramen noodles for what feels like forever for it. You deserve what you want along as you drive for it and don't let people get in your way. No one can tell you what you deserve or that you’ll fail. You fight for what you want and if it is meant to be, it'll come!
As Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze, my imaginary husband) says in the classic Dirty Dancing, “No body puts Baby in the corner”. Baby Houseman wanted to dance (and be) with the ‘lower class’ and not ‘daddy approved’ Johnny. No one put her in a corner though. She danced one of the most iconic dances in cinematic history, and she got to be with her love! She fought, she got pushed down, but then she conquered. If Baby can do it, you can too.
Love;
Rachel
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